| April 22 2004 |
| Penis Size Debate (dot com)
I stumbled upon a GREAT website yesterday: It's an elaborate discussion of penis size: what women think, how to measure accurately, and just what is the ideal penis size? (Page 40 has a fantastic chart!). Also, be sure to check out the page of links and peruse those websites. I've only just begun to penetrate the depth and "girth" of this phenomenal website; we could both probably spend days exploring it and the links out from it. The link way up in my first sentence takes you to the Table of Contents page for the site (a great place to start), but here's the URL for the main page with all its disclaimers, which you probably should visit first: I've also put it into my "Links" on the right column. Now, go and explore that great website! Posted by Viktor at 8 : 06 pm | Leave a note {1} |
| April 21 2004 |
| Circumcision Poll Analysis ("Are you circ/uncirc?")
Now that we have over 100 replies to our poll that asks men whether they’re circumcised or uncircumcised, and whether they’re happy or unhappy with that status, let’s re-analyze the results: Uncircumcised/happy about it = 36 votes Uncircumcised/unhappy about it = 4 votes Circumcised/happy about it = 47 votes Circumcised/unhappy about it = 16 votes A percentage breakdown of all these four options together is less useful than what is revealed by separating the circumcised and uncircumcised responses. Doing so, we find that, Of the uncircumcised group: 90% are happy with being uncircumcised; 10% are unhappy that they're uncircumcised. Of the circumcised group: 75% are happy with being circumcised; 25% are unhappy that they're circumcised. This means that: By leaving your boy uncircumcised, he’ll proceed into life with only a 1 in 10 chance of being unhappy with his foreskin status. By sending him through life circumcised, he has a 1 in 4 chance of being unhappy. In tallying all the results together, we find that: Of 103 respondents: 39% are uncircumcised; 61% are circumcised. Now, assessing the complete picture, we could interpret that only 39% of the population has a 90% chance of being happy with the circumcision-status of their penis (uncircumcised), while 61% of the population has been given only a 75% chance of being happy (circumcised). Expectant parents of males, you may want to ponder all this. = = = = = = = By the way, the polls on this site are set so that multiple votes are not possible, so "stacking the deck" one way or another is unlikely (though not impossible). Of course, this is a totally informal poll and analysis, but kind of interesting anyway, don't ya think? Thanks to all who voted. Posted by Viktor at 3 : 33 pm | Leave a note {0} |
| March 25 2004 |
| Penis By Numbers
It occurs to me that men ought to have their penis size rated in much the same way that women’s breasts are spoken of by size. Women have 34B, 36C, 44DD, etc. Men sometimes talk of 6 or 7 inches, but that’s all. Men need that girth factor added in. Can you imagine talking of women’s breasts only as 34 or 36? No, no, no! Shoes are sized by both a length and a width. Why not a man's willie? A chick's boobs are rated on two dimensions including fullness; I’ll bet that women agree it’s time for men to receive equal public treatment. Therefore, we at Pondering The Penis propose speaking of a man’s penis size as “7B” or “6C” or “8D” or what have you. The number is his erect length; the letter refers to girth: the average sort of hefty thickness would get the “C” average. A little thinner than average gets the “B” grade. Pro basketball players with the impressive Coke-bottle thickness get the “D” award (congrats, dudes). “A” is for Alas: alas to those who are at the low end of the scale, thinner than “B.” Yes, we think it’d be fun for the world to begin including both factors when talking about penis size. And remember, you heard the idea here first! Now, can anyone think of a formula for exactly measuring and rating girth size, in the way that there's a formula for calculating a woman's bra-cup size? Should it just be by inches of circumference? [ok, fair is fair. I'll start... How do I, your host here, measure up? Hmm.. about a 7B. Some might say “C,” but I think I’m around a “B” (anyone wanna come give me their opinion?)] Posted by Viktor at 2 : 28 pm | Leave a note {0} |
| February 08 2004 |
| Entry to keep this account active!
This entry is only to keep my account alive! I haven't posted in quite awhile, but apparently people still like to come over here and read these fun words. Penis enjoyment aplenty right here. Step right up and get an eyeful. (Words, that is!) Posted by Viktor at 12 : 08 am | Leave a note {3} |
| September 05 2003 |
| Does *spunk* taste vary?
The title of this post was a question asked in our Guestbook. Honestly, we can't answer that one (we haven't been around in that way). So, can anyone offer their insights into this question? Jill, I hope you're paying attention! Check the Comments (click on "Leave a note" below) for your answers. But from what we've heard, even a man's diet can alter the taste. So there's our short answer. Posted by Viktor at 8 : 33 pm | Leave a note {6} |
| July 31 2003 |
| Answers for Ysabel
Thanks to Ysabel_222 for asking some questions about the penis: **how much is too much, with the penis? **can I tie it up? If I tie it up when it's limp, will it be super painful when it goes hard? **can I use clothespins on the penis? on the scrotum? what parts? **can I put mouthwash/toothpaste on it, for the tingly effect? (ben gay would be out of the question, right?) Thank you Ysabel_222. Here’s what I say: **How much is too much? First off, telling us it’s ”not enough” is too much! Telling us it’s too much for you makes us happy and horny. Onto the physical: When it’s hard, under no circumstances should you EVER try to bend it like Superman bending the steel rods of a prison cell. That is worse than getting it caught in the zipper. And yes, apparently you really CAN “break” it. OH MY GOD, I can’t even write about this without freaking out right now. I was playing kind of rough some years ago and my weenie kinda got a little roughly tweaked in this way and I … Agh!.. OMG. Then I went to pee and blood came out. Just a little. I nearly fainted. Truly. PLEASE!, be careful with it!! Quick! Change of topic!… **can I tie it up? If I tie it up when it's limp, will it be super painful when it goes hard? This is oddly pleasurable. Here’s my story: there are leather devices with riveted snap-fasteners that are designed for harnessing a man’s little horse in just this way. One time, I tried one that cupped (and divided) the balls with a couple straps (sorta like a thong for the balls) while another strap snaps around the base of the penis. Easy enough to put on while limp, but then when it all gets hard the leather traps blood and things get really hard and red. You ever wrap a rubber band tightly around your finger? This is the effect. Lemme tell ya, the thing gets all hot and super-sensitive. Veins all bulging out like the eyes of a person getting strangled. It looks great and feels great, too. Just make sure it’s all not SO tight that it gets gangrened and falls off. As for shoelaces or other stuff, just be sure not to tie so tightly (especially around the scrotum) that you strangle the stuff inside; this could cause serious damage (like inadvertent vasectomy!). Also, some guys have what’s called varicocele, which is basically a varicose vein inside their scrotum. This is always on the left side (you’ll feel an especially large mass of lumpy veins) and blood flows sluggishly thru it out of the genital area, into the abdomen and returning up toward the heart. Careful with this. Ruptured varicocele will cause massive bleeding! Maybe he’d even bleed to death. AGH! **can I use clothespins on the penis? on the scrotum? what parts? From the TV show and movie, Jackass, professional jackass Steve O does crazy things like staple his nutsack to his leg. There’s a reason he’s called a jackass. Don’t do this! Now, as for clothespins, well, that’s kind of up to the guy if it turns him on (clothespins not as the main event, but included as part of a larger “scenario” of role playing or domination would be ideal). Just be careful not to be a jackass about it: be careful of the actual nuts – don’t crush them! So, no pins on the balls themselves! NEVER! Crushing the balls is almost as bad as making the penis do a limbo dance by bending it where it shouldn’t be bent. But on the loose skin is ok (ooh, kinda hot sounding, actually!), but just also be careful of the veins and ducts inside. Uh, yeah, they’re kinda important. A clothespin on the penis itself doesn’t sound like much of a problem. **can I put mouthwash/toothpaste on it, for the tingly effect? (ben gay would be out of the question, right?) Hm.. could be fun. There’s always the ice cube in your mouth for a couple minutes then fellatio trick. Or Altoid or spearmint/peppermint LifeSaver urban legend. All I know is this: keep mouthwash out of the hole on the top of his head. You know which hole-in-the-head I’m talking about (with men we sometimes have to clarify which). And, don’t go chop jalapeño peppers with your bare hands then give him a handjob. THAT is one I learned by accident a few years back. Not pleasant at all. However, you’ve inspired me: I’m going to go home and try the toothpaste trick on myself tonight! Makes me wonder if Michael Jackson tried this using toothpaste with whitener. Maybe you can turn this trick into a scenario of your guy brushing your teeth… Just be sure any substance is washed off his jet before it enters your hangar. Ben Gay? Don’t know. Never used it on my shoulder or my weenie. Some insight: your guy might be turned off by something with “Gay” in its name. Ysabel, sounds like your guy is in for some fun. Right on! Posted by Viktor at 7 : 22 pm | Leave a note {3} |
| June 13 2003 |
| Guest Writers Wanted!
The ideas in my big head about my little head are running dry. I need to recruit some guest contributors to this blog. Men, women: write a few lines or a few paragraphs (that's about the limit, pls) and e-mail them to me at penispages@yahoo.com. Include a name you'd like me to post it "by" (so you remain anonymous, if you like) Any ideas at all about the penis. Here are a few topics off the toppa' my head (the big one): * Insecurity. * How has it changed over the years? * "First Time" stories: were you amazed at what it can do? * Recollections of discovering all about it (men: your own; women: men's) * WOMEN: what do you think about the penis? Like or hate 'em, or just hate the way men are with/about them? Etc? * Having problems with a penis? * Memories - good or scary - involving your penis. Oy VEY! The list can go on and on. Please use your imagination! Hope to hear from you soon! You too can see your penis up in lights... right here on this blog! --Viktor Posted by Viktor at 6 : 20 pm | Leave a note {3} |
| June 03 2003 |
| What Makes A Good BJ?
Here's a question asked by a visitor to this blog (in the COMMENTS): >>How exactly would you give a rememberable bj? What do you guys really like? Posted by Sue at 2:57 am on 06.03.03<< Hopefully, other guys will add their comments here. As for me, I say just keep it in the mouth as much as possible and "work it" by closing your mouth down on it and moving around on it. BUT AVOID YOUR TEETH!!!!* I think the best description of "working it" would be like a combination of sucking on a lollypop or popsicle with some suction action as if drinking something thru a straw. Some up & down/in & out is good, but mostly keep it in your mouth at all times. If doing the updown/inout, keep the penis head in your mouth. Absolutely 100% irritating (to me) is when you hold onto the penis with it out of your mouth and you just flick your tongue around it (and you look up at me like you're doing something hot or clever. No, you're not.). Basically, keep it inside, work your tongue against it and against the back of your mouth/throat. The penis likes wet, warm, and friction. This is the male's holy trinity. Therefore, don't let go of it except for a few moments while the man, or you, slaps it against your face (and then your mouth jumps onto it again, devours it with all the soft tissues of your mouth and throat). *Regarding the teeth: Here's the proper technique for "closing down" your mouth against the penis, while avoiding your teeth [you might demonstrate this to yourself by sticking a finger into your mouth as you read this]: with the penis in your mouth, close your mouth against it. Now, pull your lower jaw away from the penis [or finger], but keeping your tongue/mouth closed against it by using some suction to hold yourself snug against the penis. Maintaining the suction with your teeth pulled away, move your tongue against the penis [finger] and also bob your head around to add more movement of your soft mouth tissues against the penis. KEEP THAT LOWER JAW PULLED AWAY!!! A notch on our 'bedpost' is painful painful painful!! Your man is now VERY happy [especially if you let us jizz in your mouth -- oh brother, now I'm horny! :) ] [Other guys... can you help your fellow buds get some good head by offering your own comments? Guys everywhere thank you.] Posted by Viktor at 4 : 40 pm | Leave a note {13} |
| May 28 2003 |
| Surrogate Lubrication
In my 20s I lived in a place that had a huge - MONSTER HUGE! - aloe vera plant (like 10 feet high or so). Its branches (fronds?) were 2+ inches across. Man oh man... I used to cut one of those branches off and slice open the branch to expose the aloe jelly inside, then I'd masturbate myself - I'd f the inside of the aloe branch. I'd lay the cut-in-half 2" width on top and on the underside of my weenie. There's a tip for all you horny 20-somethings (or older! -- or younger!). When I was a kid I tried all kinds of things for lubrication: mayonnaise, banana peels, avocado skins (the inside!), shampoo (ouch: once some soap got inside the hole and peeing afterward hurt like a bitch!). And of course there's the old trick of putting some hand lotion into a plastic bag, then laying the bag between your box-spring and mattress and sticking your dude into the bag and f-ing away. YeeHAWW! The tight mattresses and the lotion work wonders. Oh, and one I've found recently that works really well: the inside of a mango skin. Mmm, tropical! Posted by Viktor at 5 : 46 pm | Leave a note {1} |
| May 27 2003 |
| My Penis Floats!
I took a bath the other day and saw that my penis floats! It rises to stick its head above the water, just like a cutsie puppy romping at the lake. I've previously noticed that my little mini me floats upward while skinnydipping at the local river or in a swimming pool, but somehow it was just so cute a couple days ago in the tub. The little guy is always surprising me with something. Posted by Viktor at 12 : 58 pm | Leave a note {1} |
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