The importance of being Imperfect

You may have noticed that my description recently switched from 'relaxed classical homeschooler' to 'imperfect homeschooler' and you may have then thought, "Poor Poppins is in the dumps again."  But you'd be wrong.

I've been slowly gathering up bits and bobs from this blog and the musty corners of my brain for a homeschooling book.  It's supposed to be a sort of Erma Bombeck approach to homeschooling writing, a little leaven in all the earnestness.  I've been bandying about titles in my mind and "Imperfect Homeschooling" is my current favorite.

At first, this was just a tongue-in-cheeck book title, but as it's been banging around in my head it's starting to make sense in a deeper way.  I used to search for the 'right' way to homeschool, the 'best' way. Classical, Charlotte Mason, unschooling...   I forgot what I tell mothers over and over in La Leche League: "There's no one right way to breastfeed and there's no one right way to parent."  Believing in a Right Way led me to be anxious that I hadn't found it yet.  It made me worry at an unconcious level that if there was a Best Way, then all the other countless ways were inferior, wrong, flawed.  And what if I was following one of those homeschooling styles?

What I've come to understand is  that there is no one best way; there are many good ways, all of them flawed and imperfect in some part.  There will be gaps in a child's education.  You will try to teach them math or art or cooking in a way that is not an ultimate match with their preferred learning style. You will not sparkle as a teacher every day. And you will not giggle your way through particle physics in a happy, glowing series of Kodak moments. 

Like the practice of yoga, you simply are where you are, doing what you can with what you've got.  The deepest practice of homeschooling comes from being in the moment, focused but not straining, doing your best to do the exercise.

There will be gaps.  My children will grow up to be adults who say, "I can't believe my parents thought X and Y were right.  I'll never do that to my kids." I will look back and think, "Well, if only I'd known then what I know now."  I will be an imperfect homeschooler.  I am an imperfect homeschooler. 

Care to join me in the club of Imperfect Homeschoolers? Never seeking the one right way, but doing our best with what we've got with humour and resourcefulness and forgiveness.  Never judging
those who take a different method or style or progam as being 'less perfect'.

Imperfect Homeschoolers unite!

!!extend_body!!

Posted by Poppins at 10:14 am

- Lisa | 09.19.06 | 11:46 am

Oooh, I like this! I think many homeschool moms spend way too much time trying to figure out the Right Way, instead of just working at it!

- Tracie | 09.19.06 | 2:41 pm

BRAVO! BRAVO! We've homeschooled 13 years and are most certainly imperfect but it works for us. I have two teenage girls that still love their momma and all of my five still have their sense of wonder intact!

- kelbel | 09.19.06 | 8:19 pm

Well if there is a group called Imperfect Homeschoolers, that's one that I can join. In fact, it might be one I could actually LEAD.
; )

- Amy | 09.19.06 | 9:08 pm

This is perfect!!!! I want a t-shirt. (Except the particle physics part - I thought everyone laughed and giggled when they studied this.)

- Sarah | 09.19.06 | 9:51 pm

We need a blog button or a blog ring or something. Anyone have those talents?

- Staci | 09.20.06 | 12:08 am

Imperfect Homeschooling sounds, er, perfect!

I can't wait to read the book!

- Chipper | 09.20.06 | 9:16 am

"Anyone have those talents?"

I thought about getting those talents once, but then I realized that they might make me too perfect. :)

I'd love a button if someone does know how

- Heather | 09.20.06 | 12:12 pm

I'm sure I could make a blog button if I had something cool like Printshop. But I don't. So I can't. So I won't. :) However, I did just create a blogring called Imperfect Homeschoolers, which I will add whoever wants to be a part of. I will post this on the Denim Jumper as well. Email me at chinadoll414 at hotmail dot com to be added. Wonderful idea Sarah!

- Heather | 09.20.06 | 12:18 pm

Wait... I'm not sure this blogring will work. I'm gonna play with it for a while. Now I feel really dumb. Cross your fingers.

- Heather | 09.20.06 | 12:51 pm

Ok, it's really working this time. So refer to previous comment, and email me if you want to be added. They as for website and brief description. Just let me know. *Whew*

- Sherry | 09.28.06 | 5:21 pm

I get the idea of "imperfect homeschooling" and I like it. But . . I must admit to getting frustrated with those La Leche League leaders who wouldn't tell me anything. I knew that what I was doing wasn't working, but the leader I remember refused to tell me the right way to breastfeed and schedule ---or not.
I'm in the same place with homeschooling to some extent. Some of what we're doing just isn't working. I have no shortage of voices who will tell me the right way to do it, but having homeschooled for over fifteen years, I've tried most of the right ways. However, being told to just relax and accept imperfection doesn't always get it for me either.

Ah, woe is me, I really am imperfect.

- joanna | 05.30.07 | 10:49 pm

imperfect mom imperfectly homeschooling imperfect children in an imperfect world . . . .

- Rose | 07.23.07 | 1:10 pm

I LOVE the idea of Imperfect Homeschooling! It fits, perfectly! I can't wait to read the book!