I quit my job about 2 weeks ago and I have an interview at Ulta tomorrow. I hope I get the job because I NEED ONE REALLY BAD!!

Mostly everyday I got to school, go to matt's, smoke pot and fall asleep. It hasn't been bad I just wish I had a job. I applied at bath & body works but you have to be 18 to work there... I told Ulta I would work Friday and Saturday nights...it doesn't really matter right now. I just hope I can work during the week and not EVERY saturday...oh well I have to make money...

I've been hanging out with Sarah and Becca a lot but the only thing that sucks is Sarah is becoming friends with Hailey and Ashley again and I just hope she doesn't stop hanging out with me..

Oh well I don't have much to talk about I just thought I'd update

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My weekend was great...spent the night at Sarah's and got trashed the whole weekend.

Off this whole week and went to work today.

My face is slowy getting better now my pimples won't heal which still looks ugly as fuck!

Taking the ACT this Saturday so I must not get wasted Friday night...at least not too much...lol.

It was soo rainy tonight!

Sorry...I don't ever feel like writing...I doubt I'll keep this journal up after my 2 months are up!

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school...
1st- I cooked a chicken and went to a senior meeting and found out that I don't have to take any finals

2nd- Didn't do anything...

Work...
Called Randy and wished him a happy 19th birthday!
Whole day went by slow....

Home...
Typed a paper
Took a shower


I had a very boring day and I don't feel like typing much...I'll go find some quizzes and post them!

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Why did I waste $5 for two months of upsaid serivce when I don't really even feel likewriting anything in here??

You enjoy inflicting pain upon others to gain sexual satisfaction.
Are you an angry person by any chance?


Are You Sadistic or Masochistic?

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Nothing exciting happened today. I went to school (worn my new pants), went to work, (got some new make-up before work), came home....fun fun fun.

We debated most of the day at work about random stuff, so that made the day go by faster.

I'm glad that I have the whole next week off from school...but I still have to work but I asked off Friday so I'd have Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to do whatever.

Maybe tomorrow will be more eventful and I'll have more to talk about but as of right now I don't even have any thoughts to write about...

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I had a good time this weekend. I spent the night at sarah's friday night and hung out with her, jessi and all of the boys on saturday and I got a free facial today!

I'm confused about relationships...I think I have a crush a John...which is fucking stupid but...yeah. Sometimes I don't like writing in here b/c I know people know this is my journal and all of that. I don't "like" John I just think he's really hot...lol! I wouldn't want to date him (if I was single) I would only like to be flirty with him and stuff. Which is the same with all of the boys because I know none of them want relationships they just want to fuck around.

I'm talking to Jessi right now...

I found this quiz and it seems fun to do...

Have you ever...
[x] been drunk.
[x] smoked pot.
[x] kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[ ] rode in a taxi.
[x] been dumped.
[x] shoplifted.
[ ] been fired.
[ ] been in a fist fight.
[x] had a threesome - kissing or otherwise
[ ] snuck out of your parent's house.
[ ] been arrested.
[x] made out with a stranger.
[x] stole something from your job.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[ ] went on a blind date.
[x] lied to a friend.
[x] had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[ ] been to europe.
[x] skipped school.
[x] thrown up from drinking.
[ ] lost your sibling.
[x] played 'clue'
[x] had a sleepover party.
[x] went ice skating.
[ ] dropped x.
[x] cheated on a bf/gf.
[ ] been cheated on.
[x] had a sweet sixteen.
[ ] had a quincea?
[x] had a car.
[x] drove.

Do you...
[x] have a bf.
[I wish] have a gf.
[x] have a crush.
[x] feel loved.
[ ] feel lonely
[x] feel happy.
[x] hate yourself.
[x] think you are attractive.
[x] have a dog.
[x] have your own room.
[x] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[ ] listen to soul.
[ ] listen to techno.
[ ] listen to reggae.
[x] paint your nails.
[x] have more than 1 best friend.
[ ] play an instrument.
[ ] have slippers.
[x] wear boxers.
[x] wear black eyeliner.
[x] like the color blue.
[x] like the color yellow.
[ ] cyber.
[ ] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[x] have long hair.
[ ] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[ ] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.

Are you...
[ ] ugly.
[x] pretty.
[ ] ok.
[x] bored.
[x] happy.
[ ] bilingual.
[x] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican.
[ ] asian.
[x] short.
[ ] tall.
[ ] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[x] lazy.
[ ] single.
[x] taken.
[x] talking to someone.
[x] IMing someone.
[ ] scared to die.
[x] tired.
[ ] sleepy.
[x] annoyed.
[ ] hungry.
[x] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[x] in your room.
[x] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[x] in your pjs.
[ ] ticklish.
[ ] listening to music.


Well that was sooo pointless...lol

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Why do I have feelings for her when she doesn't give a damn about me?


So much for my happy ending....

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The week is almost over I just have to get through tomorrow at school and work and when I get home I'm partying with Sarah!!!! I'm so excited I'm going to spend the night then on Saturday I'm going to go to Matt's and hang out with him all day!!

I'm calling Amanda and seeing what she is up to! I want to call Sarah but I know they don't have a phone hooked up yet!

I get off at 7:30 pm and probably be there a little after 8:00 pm so I hope they don't mind and I hope to don't smoke and drink everything up before I get there...lol!

I hope everything works out...

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I'm on call for sundays at work so hopefully i won't have to work.

I went to Ashley's funeral today with Tina. I went to her house before to get ready. I saw Will and I almost died because he was sitting numb and emotionless and he was crying. I hugged him and held his hand and wiped the tears from his face. I was shaking so bad...Why do people have to kill themselves and hurt so many people?

Why do people have to fuck around with your feelings and give you mixed signals all of the time?? Sometimes....I just want to....

I don't work tomorrow and I'm seeing Matt after school.

MY FACE IS SO FUCKING UGLY!! I'M SO MAD ABOUT IT! Please get better face!

Life is so crazy sometimes, I just don't understand it.

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my job wants me to work on Sunday's when we open the other salon. I'm about to die right now only working monday, tuesday, wednesday, and friday from 12:30 to 7:30. I already work more than any other senior high school student at my job. I'm going to talk to them tomorrow. First they told me if I don't on the weekends then they'll fire me. FUCK THEM! They fired someone today too...I'm probably going to be next but I can't work anymore I need a life and only being off saturdays doesn't do anything. I'm off Thursdays but I have to be at school...so I'm not really off.

God, I keep breaking out all over my face and it makes me soo mad! I don't know what to do about it...*tears* I just want to feel pretty. It's probably the stress from my shitty job.

I need a week off from everything...work..school...life...

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Today seems like a big blur! I'm still kind of out of it from the weekend but I'm getting better. Today was okay. I hung out with Jessi this weekend. We liked each other last year but then she stopped talking to me and I felt like shit for awhile. I still like her and she was all like I missed you so much and kissed me and acted like she liked me again and told me and other people that. But then today at school she's all like I only want to be friends and not do anything with girls unless I’m drunk. I mean sure I didn't want a serious relationship with her but I wanted to have a friend with benefits kind of thing but with meaning. It's hard to explain...I wanted to have a more than friend's relationship but not serious since I have a boyfriend. Which is weird because why would I want to have a relationship with someone else when I have matt...but I like girls...A LOT! I'm just soo confused about everything right now! I love Matt with all of my heart but sometimes I want to be with a girl...I can't imagine being without Matt but I wish we weren't so serious...I just...I don't know. He's my best friend, sometimes I wonder if I'm just with him because that's all I know. I love him. I need help. I'm sooo confused! This entry probably doesn't even make sense! I just have so many thoughts going through my head at once I can't stop them and think of each one one at a time.

If Matt reads this you probably know how I feel b/c I've talked to you on the phone before reading this.

If Jessi reads this.....she probably knows how I feel so it's fine and if she doesn't...she knows now!

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I'm wasted right now and I helped sarah move today. I spent the night...m I forgot my cell phone at sarah's. I have to get up[ early to go to work an school so better goo! I feel funny...i'm sooo bored! bye bye

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Today started off really bad. I left early to get to school so I could print out a paper since my printer has no ink and I got behind a really slow person, then I remembered that I had forgotten my work clothes. I didn't have enough time to run home then go to work and get there on time so I called my mom and she was nice enough to bring me my clothes.

Emma worked today...which made the whole day suck!

I met Matt after he got off work and he came over for a little bit.

I was coming home and I saw someone who had a bumper sticker that said "Vote yes for marriage amendment." With an girl plus a boy equals family. That pissed me off soo much. Why do we live in such a close-minded world?!? I wanted to yell at her but didn't...

I'm getting a bumper sticker for gay pride and putting it on my car!!!!

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