It seems that I've attended a lot of concerts and local band shows lately. I saw the Poison and Kiss concert last month (and the best thing about that one was the company). Two weeks ago I saw the local critics' darling Sorta at the Wreck Room in Ft. Worth and last night I saw another popular local band, The Deathray Davies, at the same place.
Hence, I have decided that there has to be some ground rules for concert/show attendence because it is obvious that some people do not know how to handle these events. Let's take these in the order that they (should) occur.
Getting Ready
Do not overthink the look you will be throwing down.
Let me repeat that.
Do not overthink the look you will be throwing down.
There are four styles of attire/hair seen at concerts: 1) Shock value 2) Slut/Male whore 3) Overtly music and 4) Casual.
Number four is where it is at. Be casual. You are there to hear music and watch a performance. And if you end up hooking up, well then you hook up. Don't go for the shock value look just to appear more cutting edge than you really are. And (especially you, women) don't make a concert an excuse to bring out the inner slut in you. If the only time you wear mini skirts and halter tops is at a show, then you have a problem. Pick an image and go with it seven days a week. As for number three, I have to admit that I'm guilty of that. Last night, for example, I wore a pop poppins shirt to the show hoping to at least evoke some sort of conversation with it. It didn't happen and I learned my lesson. I also ran into an old friend who was with a guy in a Wilco shirt, but I wouldn't consider that "overtly music" because they are not a local band.
Actually, I think number three needs more clarification so here are the ground rules:
-When seeing a local band, it is OK to wear a shirt promoting another local band as long as they are active. My pop poppins shirt was a transgression from this rule. If I had worn a Slobberbone shirt, I would have been in the clear.
-When seeing a national act at a larger venue, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE wear a shirt from a previous tour of that band. This especially applies to reunion tours. While at Kiss, I saw a seven or eight year old girl in a Cheap Trick shirt. That was cool. But I also saw a bunch of old Kiss concert shirts from as far back as the 'Love Gun' tour. Enough. Those things should have hit the donation box (or been turned into a dust rag) a long time ago.
-Every rule has an exception, and this one is no different. If you are watching a local band that you have ties to (i.e. related to the band, friends of one or more of the members, etc.) then it is OK to wear one of their shirts. In other words, my pop poppins shirt would have been fine at one of their shows (like that's gonna happen), but it was nerdy of me to wear it last night.
The bottom line is to be yourself. And if being yourself is wearing a shirt from a defunct or trendy local band then go for it and disregard what I said before. And if being yourself is looking like you belong on Harry Hines in Dallas while soliciting? Float on, baby.
The Drive There
There once was a time when, on my way to a concert, I would listen to nothing but the artist I was going to see. Those times, however, are over. Have you ever paid attention to the songs the PA system plays between bands? Even if you haven't, I'm sure you've notcied that - for example - before an R.E.M. concert you will not hear any R.E.M. songs before they hit the stage. There is a reason for that. It's called redundancy. You should let yourself "jones" for the songs you want to hear, not listen to them before the show. Otherwise, it's like kissing your sister. (No offense, Lois.)
*Again, there is an exception and it involves roadtrips. When I went to see the R.E.M. and Wilco concert in San Antonio back in 1999, it was perfectly acceptable to listen to nothing but those two bands on the way there (though I'm not even sure if that's what we did). A roadtrip concert is like one big ramp-up to the event.
But a 45 minute drive to the (sadly, now gone) Bronco Bowl for an Old 97's/Chris Isaak show should not be overrun by the music of those two bands.
Stand Up? Sit Down?
This might be the only time you ever hear me extoll the virtues of the "herd mentality", but I must. If everyone else (in front of you) is standing up, then you are kind of obligated to do the same. And this will encourage the people behind you to stand up, too. It's like a big bonding experience. And when the folks in front of you sit down, you should, too, because that means everyone behind you is waiting for your cue so they can do the same.
And if everyone else is sitting down and you want to stand up? Too bad. It doesn't help you hear the band any better. And it won't help you see them any better unless you are sitting behind Andre the Giant or George Dunham. It all boils down to shameless self promotion that basically screams "This (song/band) is soooo important to ME!" or "I love this obscure song from this band and no one else here knows it!" (Come to think of it, I might have been guilty of this one, too, a few times in the past.)
*The only exception for this rule is if you are sitting behind a Neanderthal or if no one is sitting directly behind you.
To Sing Along or Not Sing Along
Yes, you may sing along. One condition, though. You may not sing along by screaming the lyrics to the person sitting next to you. That's a bad look, man. While Poison was on the stage, I watched a guy about six rows in front of us scream sing the lyrics to the chick he was with. That poor woman. She was probably really into the band and she got to hear this guy she spends every day with butchering their vocals.
*Oddly, there is no exception to this rule.
Music For the Trip Home
No matter how far or how short your drive home from the concert is, it is always permissable (encouraged, in fact) to listen to the band(s) you just saw. This allows for all sorts of conversation topics:
"I really wish they would have played this song."
"Remember the ad-libbed part of this song during the show?"
"This song sounded great live..."
"How could they have NOT played this song? Don't they know it's my favorite?"
*Exception to this rule: This is actually an exception that is a callback to an earlier rule. Remember that "no shouting the words to the person next to you" edict? In the car on the way home, this is perfectly acceptable because you are not distracting dozens of others. Unless you are in the back of a U-Haul. If that is the case, you have a lot more issues going on. So wear knee pads and be extra sweet.
What?
Now I know I have been guilty of breaking several of the above rules. However, the older I get the less I transgress. The goal is to be 100% compliant with the concert-going rules. I'm about 80% there.
See you at the Austin City Limits Music Festival. Just looking for someone to take...
Entry posted by Leemer | www | E-Mail this entry |
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- Ali | 07.11.04 | 11:27 pm
Agreed, this one, I believe, WAS your best blog ever. Good job, dear.
Oh, and if your ticket hookup can get you Austin City Limit tickets after all, please don't forget about a Ninjamunkey and his family; they'd love to go, too....
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