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Am I not beautiful indeed?
- Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
- It's all about me and my maginifico rack.
- I'm great, and really cute and dead clever.
- You love me because you are inadequate and I am not.
- I wrinkle my nose adorably when I laugh because I think it is cute even though it looks stupid.
- I went to seven different ivy league colleges and I have a book deal.
- You want to sleep with me, but you can't because I'm too gorgeous for you.
- So you sit hunched over your keyboard masturbating instead.
- I have a fabulous blogger boyfriend who has hipster hair.
- You don't.
- Did I mention that you love me and want to sleep with me but I'm way too cool and beautiful so you can't?
- Good.
- My IQ is 189. I did an online test once. It's true.
- At some point, I will get around to posting photographs of myself here to show you how inadequate and ugly you are in comparison.
- I have cute pets.
- My apartment is cool.
- Cooler than yours, needless to say.
- I am friends with all the cool bloggers.
- They want to sleep with me too.
- I don't blame them, I'm gorgeous and cute and adorable.
- Champagne bottles pop their corks when I walk by.
- I wear thong-style panties.
- You like that.
- Don't you?
- I have a serious side. I read a book once.
- My hobbies are self-adoration, and enormous self-regard.
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