| [November 06 2003] |
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Cleanliness is next to madness.
It looks like I gave up at the just the wrong time. Pubes are back in fashion, according to tmftml. And he's a man in the know, and not just about pubes.
The news may have come a little late for some of our downtrodden sisters though. There's a bunch of them over at the weddingchannel.com bulletin boards who have really taken this body-fascistic hair-hatred a little far.
I can't link to it as they've some bastard frame thing going on, so you'll have to take this on trust, if you can't be arsed to get over to the forum's Newlyweds: Sex & Intimacy threads. Worth a visit though, they're quite hilarious about anal sex.
Anyway. The great DOES YOUR MAN SHAVE DOWN BELOW poll is currently running with the following results: - He doesn't! It's a jungle down there: 31.17%
- He trims it once in a while: 35.06%
- He shaves: 31.82%
- He waxes: 0.65%
- Other: 1.30%
I'm intrigued as to what "other" may be. Picks them out with a tweezer one by one? Burns them off with a candle? Rips them out by hand in an angst-ridden frenzy shortly after realising he's married the kind of woman who votes on his pubic hair habits in a poll on the Wedding Channel?
Now there's reasons why a woman might choke while pleasuring her man down below. Apparently this is one of them:"I just wonder, if they expect us ladies to keep it neat and tidy down there, why can't they reciprocate?? Like WE don't like a hair-free environment too?? Then they wonder why so many women don't like giving BJ's. For the most part, it's because some women almost CHOKE down there! (TMI, sorry!)" Too much information indeed. Particularly when the poster has her wedding photos as her signature, which kind of ruins the whole anonymity thing, I think. Girl, if what you're choking on down there is your man's pubic hairs, rather than his penis, you need more help than a bulletin board can provide.
This poor girl has really suffered for love:"I did date a BF who shaved. I don’t think it was a choice but necessity. If he didn’t shave, I had great difficulty locating it - and that was *when* he was aroused! I love it when they're perky in the face of adversity.
Here's a vote for total body depilation:"Hair just looks so dirty, in the way, not that attractive!" Whereas self-hatred is just horny, huh?
This girl is marrying a pervert, but doesn't know it yet:"My fiance shaves and always has. He's a welder and has to wear overalls, and with all the heat in the shop he says it's unbearable to be overheating in his undies. Actually, i think he started when he was in the Army. Being in the desert (he was in the Gulf War), he said that between the heat and the sand that got all over you from the wind blowing, tanks driving around, etc. that it was miserable so he started shaving and just kept going." Yeah, right. Whatever.
I picture this one wearing a little collar round her neck and calling her man "master":"My DH has NEVER shaved, waxed, trimmed, etc and to be honest I would be a little nervous if I came home and he was "grooming" himself. I am all for shaving MYSELF, but I like my man just that: manly." He spanks her if she has stubble, too. Probably.
And my total favourite - not too much information, just the right amount, I feel:"my DH doesn't "shave", but he does get rid of all the pubes with "Magic Shave Powder". It's about $1.27 a can at Walmart and eleviates all the rude bumps u get from shaving It's supposed to be for a black man's beard, but works GREAT for pubes. We both use it because we both like a clean workspace." Marvellous. Like Gif for the pubic region, you too can have a nice clean workspace if you pop down to Walmart.
Posted by eurotrash at 12:24 pm |
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[Comments count: 26] |
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1: Hahahahahaha. Hilarious! Although I feel a little dirty reading this at work...
Posted by lotus at 12:40 pm on 11.06.03 |
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2: the whole post made me feel like flossing my teeth actually.
Posted by jenB at 12:45 pm on 11.06.03 |
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3: I felt a little dirty writing it. I'm off to Walmart in a minute.
Posted by eurotrash at 12:46 pm on 11.06.03 |
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4: well, no one likes "rude bumps", now do they?
i would just like these folks to have a little magical powder mix up one day and come into work with half an eyebrow to explain.
Posted by snowshoe at 2:04 pm on 11.06.03 |
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5: So uh, how was the trip to Walmart?
Did it yield some good results? Was it fruitful?
Guffaw, guffaw
Posted by lotus at 2:52 pm on 11.06.03 |
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6: I think most guys don't do it because they fear anything sharp being in that area. It can be quite comfortable though. I am wondering where the lovely Eurotrash stands on this subject?
Posted by Indigo at 2:54 pm on 11.06.03 |
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7: wow 31% of men shave their balls. That doesn't make me feel like such a loser for dating a guy that did then.
Nah I take it all back. I was a total fucking loser for dating him.
Posted by maccers at 3:17 pm on 11.06.03 |
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8: Y'know, if you are a chap, and you have body hair at all (as many chaps are wont to do) then shaving your pubes would create a bit of a peculiar-looking bald spot. Like some sort of weird negative. Imagine Ron Jeremy without pubes. Some men would not benefit aesthetically from removing their black man's beard.
Posted by fridgemagnet at 3:21 pm on 11.06.03 |
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9: I dated one man who'd shaved it all off, and to be honest, I didn't even notice till he pointed it out.
But while I try hard never to stand on anyone's pubic hair, I think the whole thing is ridiculous. We spent centuries managing to find each other attractive with all sorts of body hair. Why just because Brazilian women started wearing scraps of material only big enough to cover their clitoris, do we suddenly all have to disown a relatively innocuous inoffensive piece of body hair?
I blame the Brazilians. And porn.
Posted by eurotrash at 3:21 pm on 11.06.03 |
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10: Isn't there a whole kinky subgenre of doms who will stand on your pubic hair?
(My first thought on reading that 1st testimonial was "I can never floss again without gagging." Shudder.)
Posted by Jessica at 3:49 pm on 11.06.03 |
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11: aw lighten up, eurotrash. it's just sex, and you have to make people feel bad about feeling good. christ, what's wrong with that? there's no accounting for taste, but don't let that stop you from a good, predictable whinge.
Posted by a rake, in progress at 5:01 pm on 11.06.03 |
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12: You must be new. Otherwise you'd know I live to whinge and make people feel bad.
Posted by eurotrash at 5:11 pm on 11.06.03 |
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13: mm-hmm. she's quite devilish like that, our ET.
>:-)
Posted by snowshoe at 5:20 pm on 11.06.03 |
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14: my DH doesn't "shave"
DH? Designated Hitter?
Interesting ....
Perhaps the ladies up top (with the choking on pubes & not being able to find it) could use a Designated Hitter, too!
Posted by Niki at 5:53 pm on 11.06.03 |
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15: I'd figured "Dreary Husband".
Posted by eurotrash at 6:04 pm on 11.06.03 |
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16: Could we please make it a rule that nobody will ever again start a sentence with "Imagine Ron Jeremy..."
Posted by dmm at 6:08 pm on 11.06.03 |
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17: Oh dear, I don't know if I could stomach "a clean workspace" on a man. I'd feel like a lecherous old woman taking advantage of a young boy.
Then again, it would also fulfill some fantasies... Hehe.
Posted by gimmy at 10:59 pm on 11.06.03 |
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18: This is way too much fuss. Crotches of all kinds are meant to be furry. Men who go for the "bald kitty" are closet pedophiles.
Posted by jonmc at 11:14 pm on 11.06.03 |
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19: You've caught me. I *am* Ron Jeremy. I want people imagining me naked as much as possible, so that I can make money from my profitable line of anti-emetics.
Posted by fridgemagnet at 11:15 pm on 11.06.03 |
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20: I shave, oh, about once per week. Razors are expensive you know. Besides, the skin beneath my neck is real sensitive - BWAH-HA! HA! HA! HEE-HEE! HE... AHEM.
But anyway, um, I shave my balls off...
Uh, I, mean, I shaved the hair off my balls and surrounding nest of skakonia and discovered that there's nothing like the smell of wet, flabby skin-on-skin that rubs together all day (I AM REFERING TO MY BALL-SACK, NOT MY BEER GUT, GOD-DAMMIT!). And it creates that uncomfortable butt-rash-like feeling on occasion (YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, GOD DAMMIT!). It made me realize why hair has persisted down in those regions after the efficiency of evolution has virtually eliminated it on the rest of the bod (EXCEPT FOR SOME OF YOU FUCKING NEANDERTHALS, GOD DAMMIT!). The hair on our head serves a warming function. (EXCEPT FOR YOU EFFIN' SPACE MONKIES THAT PURPOSEFULLY SHAVE YOUR NODS, GO... ok, that's getting old.) The tarantula between our pegs, well, though it need some ROUTINE MAINTENANCE, SUCH AS SOAP AND AN OCCASIONAL TRIM I think the shaved pussy and male-crotch thing is basically reserved to pedophiles and extreme gayboys (closeted or otherwise both).
Posted by mr. scribbles at 12:23 am on 11.07.03 |
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21: Gosh. Hark at Mr Scribbles.
I think he's on a vote for "no", then. Except for occasional trimming.
Posted by eurotrash at 1:16 am on 11.07.03 |
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22: There's nothing like the smell of wet, flabby skin-on-skin that rubs together all day... shave my balls off... The tarantula between our pegs... Oh my, that does sound bad. Potty training trauma bad. "I can see your DIRTY PILLOWS!!!" bad. Next time, you just tell her: "It's pink, mama."
Posted by Jessica at 2:14 am on 11.07.03 |
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23: What the world really needs is a combination trimmer and vacuum - that way you could clip and hoover the carpet without making a mess.
Posted by Sterling at 3:20 am on 11.07.03 |
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24: Actually, they do, Sterling. I've seen infomercials for just such a thing: it attaches to your generic household vacuum and the airflow makes some little blades spin that cut the hair as it whisks it away. They demonstrated it on a person's head, but perhaps they'd sell more if they used it as you suggest...
Posted by Tel at 8:48 am on 11.07.03 |
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25: There is a device called a Micro Touch Trimmer that works great for shaving a puss or a dick. It doesn't shave as close as a razor, but it is a lot more convenient to use. I started shaving because a lot of girls started shaving or getting waxed. They call themselves smoothies, and most of them don't like guys that are extremely hairy. I think there's another reason why people shave. A lot of them say it feels sexy to be smooth down below. I agree!
Posted by Brian at 10:22 pm on 12.08.05 |
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