Amanda Hesser, NY Times Restaurant Critic

The Basics

Age and occupation. How long have you lived here, where did you come from, and where do you live now?
32. I was born in Pennsylvania and I live in Brooklyn Heights with my husband Tad Latte.

Three For Thee
1. You often say, "The chicken wings are one of the few dishes motivated by heat" which gives me chills down my spine (and gas) but do you think there are other influences at work here?
Indeed. More important than the cornucopia of the minutiae of the specifcs of any one epicurean actuality, is the sense that somehow one is indulging in a communality of nuance and illusion. Without that, there can be no defined sense of olfactory amuse-bouche.

2. My kitchen is like a "hip morgue," covered in roaches, wallpapered by Warhol, and drenched in Aunt Jemima. What's your secret to French-licked Belgian waffles?
As I recount in my book, “Double Tall Latte – A Culinary Courtship Du Nos Jours”, I was mortified when Tad ate French-licked Belgian waffles on our first date. Poor people eat them, which is why they are fat. Although dear, dear Jean-Georges does an electrifyingly wonderful fusion twist on the very concept of waffles as his divinely Vongerichtenian new restaurant, Spice Rack.

3. What would you serve at the Last Supper?
Quails tongues marinated in a soupcon of lime-infused beetroot jus, fluttering onto a pillowy-soft chaise-longue of South Indonesian flaked tuna noodles, dusted with a pouff of Sichuan pepper and surmounted by a frisson of gently aerating mangetouts. Eaten with a “spoon”.

Please share a personal (and hopefully interesting) NYC taxi story.
[chuckling winsomely] Well, once I was ordered to review a restaurant in Queens and the taxi driver didn’t know where that was. And nor did I. How we laughed. I ate at the deliciously Vongerichten-inspired Vong instead.

9pm, Wednesday night - what are you doing?
Sitting humbly at the feet of my dear, dear friend Jean-Georges Vongerichten, absorbing the very molecules of his titanic, tremendous, vast repository of seminal and perspicatious savoir-faire.

What's your New York motto?
Life is too short for a Latte. Unless you marry him.

Best celebrity sighting in New York, or personal experience with one if you're that type.
I think it was the time that Jean-Georges and I were having a Vongerichtenian experience at his then bistro du jour, Derriere, when who should walk in but that seminal chef du nos jours, Ron McDonald, accompanied by his wife, Sara Lee. They were gracious enough to wave. I have always felt rather special since then – blessed, even.

Just after midnight on a Saturday - what are you doing?
Sitting humbly at the feet of my dear, dear friend Jean-Georges Vongerichten, absorbing the very molecules of his titanic, tremendous, vast repository of seminal and perspicatious savoir-faire.

What's the most expensive thing in your wardrobe?
My talent.

Finish the following sentence: "Outside of his building, on E. 9th Street, Chip took money from Enid and…
bought a copy of “Double Tall Latte – A Culinary Courtship Du Nos Jours”, which she accepted with a quickening pulse and a flush of excitement. Shortly afterwards, they were married.

Where do you summer?
Nowhere ostentacious. We deplore ostentation. We summer with our good friend Jean-Georges Vonderichten in a small mansion in East Hampton with Buffy Van Den Myers III and her charming husband Blane Van Den Myers IV. They have a delightful collection of antique "spoons".

What was your best dining experience in NYC?
Probably the opening night of the truly Vongterichtenian culinary lounge Baise in 1999. We drank gently chided bellinis and our chopsticks found their way mysteriously to emotionally matured calves eyes, plundered by a spine-chilling extravaganza of cherry, lambasted by a stilton and softly-moaning beer remove. I wept.

Medication: What and how much do you take?
30mg of Vongerichten, twice daily, by "spoon".

The End of The World is finally happening. Be it the Rapture, War of Armageddon, reversal of the Sun's magnetic field, or the Red Sox win the World Series. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
Sit humbly at the feet of my dear, dear friend Jean-Georges Vongerichten, and absorb the very last few molecules of his titanic, tremendous, vast repository of seminal and perspicatious savoir-faire. I trust I can be a gracious host to the Heavenly Father.