Time to Go......

Before I head out of town, I wanted to write down a few thoughts.

I have said NUMEROUS times that this is MY blog. This is my personal space wherein I write personal thoughts about my life. It should not be used against me in any way, shape, form or fashion. I have invited a few select, highly trusted people that I know personally to read this blog and the rest of you I have met throught this blog or others.

However, I regret to inform you all that due to the fact that recently some of my thoughts have been brought up and used against me in various ways, I am going to have to discontinue writing in this blog. I really hate to do this. I love to write --it's sort of my secret passion-- and I love to write here in this blog. And this is going to hurt, not just emotionally but monetarily as well. I do pay to have this web address and I have paid a year in advance. Yet I see that I have no choice but to cut my losses and move on.

I will be relocating elsewhere on the web and to those of you who surf in from time-to-time....if you'll post your email address in the comments box, I will be contacting you shortly to submit that new web address for my new blog.

It's been real and it's been fun.......and it's been real fun.
Love you all-
Ande

Posted by Ande at 11:50 am ~ There are 2 notes [ View ~ Add ]

Sick and Tired, Part II

I have had an interesting day so far. Matt called me early this morning with the news that my Mom's boyfriend (CJ) had been fired from his job. Apparently, CJ has been fired because he didn't have authorization from the owner to take my Mom along with him on his various truck driving adventures throughout the State. Also contributing to that, three people called in over the weekend complaining of CJ's driving and how he seemed to be "distracted" by the woman in the truck with him. CJ previously told my Mom in front of me that the owner wouldn't mind. Being that I know the owner, I knew that he WOULD most certainly mind. I wanted to call him and tattle on them, yet I refrained. I figured he'd find out on his own and take care of the matter himself. And boy, did he ever. He told Matt that it was unacceptable for any of his guys to let anyone ride with them be it down the street or to Timbucktu and that he had to foot the bill for their little escapade. he also proceeded to tell Matt that my Mother caleld up to the POE (place of employment) "boo-hooing" and begging for them to give CJ his job back. That's so embarassing !!

Anyways, I'm sure that she thinks that I was the one who got him fired. Yet, in fact, it was CJ himself. I know that its terrible of me to feel this way, but I am not heartbroken about it. After all....

Everything comes back around. I'm sure this is only the beginning to the "fall of CJ"

Posted by Ande at 12:45 pm ~ There is zero note [ Add ]

Sick and Tired

To quote one of my favorite bands, I am "Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired."

I, along with the help of several friends and family members, have finally come to the conclusion that I am not emotionally equipped to deal with my Mother. Though it breaks my heart, at this time the best thing for me is to distance myself from her. The details that have surrounded and affirmed my decision are too lengthy and raw to describe here. Mainly, I cannot constantly attempt to cry out for a Mom that isn't willing to be there and doesn't have the desire to be a parent. One thing she should realize is that you don't stop being a parent just because your child grows up, gets married and has a family of her own. You always need your parents. I'm sure if BigDaddy had taken on the same attitude, she would be devistated. And likely bankrupt. The really sad part is that my sister tells me the following, "Mom doesn't even seem to care that you two haven't spoken." I'm sure Alyssa didn't mean to hurt my feelings but it did. Being that this a major time in my life, I think its a real shame that my Mom will miss out on so much. I know that I'm not missing out; however, I feel like I am. I'm just praying that she'll come to her senses and attempt to become a Mom again before she loses everything and ends up lower than low. And I'm also praying that God do whatever he has to do to open her eyes before its too late and that I can come out of this depression period.

I miss my Mom a lot and feel as though the woman that used to be my best friend has left me in the cold.

Posted by Ande at 5:28 pm ~ There is zero note [ Add ]

Nothin' Much..................

I don't really have much to write about, which is why I haven't written in a while. I am just coasting through the days and feeling pretty good. I haven't had any family drama in a week or so. That's nice for a change. We took a weekend trip to Wendy's for some fun. We shopped a lot and hung out by the pool. It was really nice to relax some. Overall, I have been trying to take it pretty easy around here. Matt makes things ten times better. He helps out a whole lot.

I am already anxious for the Baby to be here and I'm not even close.

Only 23 more weeks to go !!!! (Ugh!)

Posted by Ande at 2:51 pm ~ There is zero note [ Add ]

My Mother...

Okay, I really love my Mom. I mean REALLY. However, we have a little bit of an issue that has been plaguing our relationship for several months now. Yet despite the major issue between us and all of our arguments, we are somewhat close and try to get along. I find myself chewing holes in my tounge so as not to say anything aboutthe issue. That's why this handy-dandy blog is so useful. I can speak freely on here and no one holds it against me. I just love that !!! Anyways, here's the latest problem:

My parents aren't even divorced yet and my Mom already has a boyfriend. I like to call him "CJ" (for Cocky Jerk). And she has had this same boyfriend for a while. I don't like him. Okay....I CAN'T STAND HIM !!!! Previously, I've always freely voiced my opinion about him to her and have tried to by the mediator when she and Alyssa have argued about him. I have really stopped doing that for the sake of the relationship between my Mother and I. But the latest drama is just simply driving me NUTS !

It first started out with Mom telling everyone that she would only see CJ when Alyssa was at Dad's house. Then it quickly turned into, Mom will see CJ when Alyssa has other plans, which prompted Mom to find things for Alyssa to do so she could see CJ. And, of course, now it's Mom seeing CJ every day. I honestly don't have a problem with any of this yet. What Mom and Alyssa arrange is between them.

Then, this past weekend, Alyssa's friend Leana came to town & spent the weekend with Alyssa. Lou (our cousin), Alyssa, Leana and I went to the mall on Saturday. On the way there, Leana casually mentions in passing conversation that she doesn't like Mike for various reasons. And she goes on to say, "When he spent the night last night....." Lou and I both turned around and said, "What, he spent the night last night ?!?!?!" Leana proceeded to say, "Oops." She explained to us that she wasn't supposed to tell me that he spent the night. And that Mom said he slept on the couch, but neither of them ever went downstairs to check.

Okay. First of all, my Mother is NOT freakin' divorced !!! I'm sure you're wondering how I can be so sure of that. Well, because my firm is handling her divorce and she hasn't signed the papers yet. What does that teach Alyssa about the sanctity of marriage? As if my parents likely haven't already distorted Alyssa's views of marriage enough. Second, I don't care what my mother does in her spare time when Alyssa is not around. Yet, not only was Alyssa in the house but so was Leana. I know for a FACT that Leana's mother would not have approved of CJ spending the night with Leana there. Next, its a risk for any mother to allow any man to spend the night, that's not her husband, the child's father or other family member. It's just to big of a chance to take these days. The situation altogether was not a wise parenting decision AT ALL. In fact, is was more than irresponsible

With those points made, my question is, do I really stay out of this one? I mean, I always said I would get involved if it meant that Alyssa might be put at risk. Well, Alyssa calls me crying last night about how she is very sick of CJ being around all the time, how Mom is choosing him over the family and how she doesn't want him spending the night. I told her I was staying out of it. Alyssa said she was thinking of talking to our Grandfather about it, but how he seemed to really take a liking to CJ and she didn't think that he would listen to her. I disputed that and told her she needed to talk to someone about it.....just not me. In the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think of what might happen if I didn't try to help. So I called my Mother and told her that Alyssa had called crying and I was uncertain what she was crying about and that Mom needed to take the time to sit down and talk to Lyss about it all. She agreed.

I am unsure if they have talked about it. All I know is...I am really sick of all the problems he has caused with our family. He's done nothing but cause a HUGE rift in the family. Mom blames that on me. WHATEVER. I just want to know if I should step in or not. I would only do it if it meant that Alyssa would feel better about the whole situation. UGH !!! If CJ would just go his own way, things would quickly get back to normal.

I am just NOT cut out to be the adult-child of divorced parents.

Someone help me !!!!!!!

Posted by Ande at 4:10 pm ~ There is zero note [ Add ]